It has almost been 3 months since I got married.
Thank God, my wedding day went on smoothly without any major hiccups and I was fortunate to have a big group of family who were willing to help out all the way from the days of preparation till the end of the wedding event.
Basically, my wedding occasion consists of two days (just like most traditional Malay weddings in Singapore nowadays):
- Solemnization Day
- ‘Hari Persandingan’ (Sorry can’t find the word in English, yet)
Most of you should know the first one but the second day consists of mainly the lunch feast for all the guests. At the same time, the groom will travel to the bride’s place to so-called “fetch” the bride back to his place. This is called ‘bertandang’ in Malay language. During both times, the groom and the bride will sit on the wedding dais of each other’s place. At the end of the day, both will return to the bride’s place to spend the first night there. (What happens during that night is none of your business! 🙂
(Note: This doesn’t apply to all Malay weddings. As time passes by, the culture changes according to individual’s situation)
The early stages of our marriage life seems to be quite hectic for both of us since we have more responsibilities as husband and wife. There were so many adjustments to make. We haven’t planned to buy a house yet so we stayed at both of our parents’ homes. (After all, my parents have offered both of us to just stay with them since there are extra room in our house)
…We take turns on the number of days we stayed at each other’s homes – I have to admit that this is the most troublesome part for now.
But anyway, it’s always good to reflect back on the pros rather than the cons of living with parents. Even though having a home of our own gives us so much freedom and privacy, I like to think of the challenges of living with my parents’ and parents-in-laws.
…For me, life is all about overcoming challenges, tests and trials.
It gives me a peace of mind to be able to do good deeds to our parents. So this gives us more opportunity to do so when we live with them. After all, they are the ones who have brought us up from young till our adult life.
…No matter how much time and effort we’ve spent on helping, loving and making them happy, all of those can NEVER (and I mean never) ever repay back the deeds of what our parents have done to us.
So everyone, when you have the time please reflect back on what deeds you have done to your parents.
- Do you think you have done enough for them?
- Have you given them the love and care that they need?
- When was the last time you visited them?
- How high is your tolerance level towards them? (As we grow older, it’s human nature for our ‘sanity’ to decrease slowly. We will go through that same state sooner or later, so imagine how our children will be like if they can’t tolerate us one day)
- If they have passed away, have you send prayers to them?
- And even if they’re still living in this world (especially to Muslims), do you send them the special invocation prayers regularly?
Hope this serves as a reminder for myself especially and my readers.
See you soon and have a great holiday season! 🙂
To Your Success!